Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Why I Lost My Mojo and How I Got It Back

Life, oh life.  Life has a funny way of pushing you down and picking you back up when you need it most.  I've always been known for being a positive person.  My big saying is "Problem?  Solution!" I'm a fix it person I can fix anything, but this year my mojo was no where to be found.  I found myself in the situation of "life".  A few years ago, my husband and I were doing great.  We had a house, 2 jobs, 2 cars, you know the typical stuff that people have, nothing outrageous (I'm too frugal for that), but then we decided to move back home.  With the promise of a job for my husband and my industriousness, we would make this work.  Then came the job loss.  I really thought that my husband would recover quickly, but the "Great Recession" took us for a loop.  Sure, I was painting furniture and making some extra money, but that was hard work and definitely wasn't a full time income.  After all, we had 4 year old twins.  So in the mean time we worked hard, odd jobs, a couple of real estate deals, but nothing stable, nothing set in stone.  After a year, we couldn't pay our rent anymore, our utilities, our car.  I found myself anxious and depressed.  I couldn't get up, there was no hope.  Granted, my practicality pushed forward. I knew my changes would mean that I had to give up a lot.  If I lived in an apartment, where would I paint my furniture?  Would I have to give up my business? "I can't decorate an apartment" (yes that thought went through my head.) We found a smaller place, and yes it's an apartment, and a pretty decent one I might add, and no I no longer have my furniture painting business (I have been know to paint occasional pieces in my kitchen, but I wouldn't recommend it full time).  We replaced our car with one that is 15 years old, and stopped spending money all together.  Eventually, I found a part time job that was steady, which luckily turned into something full time.  I've realized that the best things come in little packages, and that allowing yourself to live simply is the biggest reward ever.  See, I feel like I got my mojo back.  I'm so happy to be rid of the material things.  We have a nice place to live, transportation, and food on the table.  We live simply and eat organically.  I started making homemade things like cleaning supplies to save money.  With that came cosmetics, toiletries, etc.  I've embraced my new chemical free way of life (Ironically, I work in a chemistry lab. It's all about balance).  There are some toxic things that are hard for me to give up because as my mojo has come back and I'm not in this horrific zone of depression, I'm starting to paint and I'm starting to decorate an apartment that I have lived in for 10 months. For those of you who know me 10 months is an eternity to decorate in my book.  Although, my husband still doesn't have a job...we've embraced a new way of life.  It's a bit of a role reversal, but we are a team and he makes it happen, well we make it happen together.  Our kids are happy, they get excited about the dollar store, the park, hiking, the beach, and just spending time as a family.  It has made me realize that kids don't need a lot to be happy, they just want their family and friends.  Things are good, I'm smiling again, excersising, eating healthy, and starting to think about me again. I'm feeling like I can once again take on new things  With that being said,  lets talk about the blog.  Like I said before, I have started decorating.  Soon we will have a finished bathroom project, a coffee table, and a kitchen in progress.  I also mentioned that I have embraced a chemical free life and would like to incorporate some of that in the blog.  The question is turning Decorating Insanity into more of a lifestyle blog.  Do I change the name?  Not really sure yet, but only time will tell.